great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
