but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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