I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
