I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
be right there i have to get my cape
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
