i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
