Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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