k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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