Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Did I show you my penis last night?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
