Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
