Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Randomize
