he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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