Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
