as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
