Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
