based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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