turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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