Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
