...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
