My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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