Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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