Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
