she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
