So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
