New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
