Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
