Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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