While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
