idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
third nipple confirmed
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
