You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
