dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
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