That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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