You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Is it penis luge time yet?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
