Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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