im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
