what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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