You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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