just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
