I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Randomize