she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
