I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
