No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
