Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
