Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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