Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Dick very happy bro
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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