dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Randomize
