i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
its liver damage thursday
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
