Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
