My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
this is an emotional support booty call
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize