I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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