So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize
