It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
