no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Everyone says I win the strip club
Someone stole a lamp last night.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
