I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
