we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
