I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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