she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
And then he peed in my hair
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