my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You took a bar mat shot.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
