If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
