so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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