Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
