He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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