You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
